When someone is caught in an affair or confesses to it, one of their first words is “I didn’t mean it.” Most people don’t cheat on their spouses. It all begins small. It all starts with a thought, which may go uncontested or even nurtured into fantasy. These thoughts become an attitude, and then that attitude becomes a disposition. This disposition can erode boundaries and cloud our sense of right or wrong.
Most men find this difficult. Although our DNA is pre-loaded by the strong instinct to feel desire and attraction, life and morality require that we can control these instincts. How can we control our instincts? We need to know the answers to these questions for the sake of our relationships, marriages, and spiritual well-being. It is important to win the battle against sexual temptations early.
What is Lust?
Lust is not the same as biological sensations like attraction. Lust can be described as a feeling of intense sexual desire, which can seem to dominate your thoughts. Although it is difficult to tell the difference between love or lust, lust can feel different than love and expresses itself differently.
Lust does not have to do with the person you are or what you like about them as an individual. You love someone because you care about them, and you want to meet their needs . Lust, on the contrary, is a desire to have sexual contact with someone in order to satisfy your sexual desires. Lust is more about a desire to be with someone sexually than a deep, unconditional affection for them.
Lust can be defined as a psychological desire to be physically attached to another person in order to obtain sexual satisfaction. Although it can make relationships more exciting and provide a boost of excitement, it shouldn’t be the main focus of a person’s romantic life.
Without love, lust is nothing but an empty feeling that can erode a couple’s real connection. You should be wary if this force has already taken control of your life.
10 Ways to Over Come Lust
1. Set boundaries for yourself.
You can manage your desires by avoiding temptationsYou can download an app to block porn sites or disable your browser if you feel tempted to view them. If you have sexual feelings towards a person you are having trouble with, try to limit the time you spend with them.
- It can be harder to succumb to your sexual desires if you make your activities more public. Try using your computer in public places, such as a coffee shop or park bench, rather than in your own room.
- Bring a friend to distract you when you go to bars or the beach.
2. Make a list of reasons to resist.
Your resolve can be strengthened by clearly defining your values.It helps to know why you are doing something when you set yourself a goal, whether it is eating better or resisting sexual temptation.You can write down your main reasons for overcoming lust and then go back to it whenever you feel like you are losing your resolve. Your reasons could include:
- “I don’t want to have sex with anyone until I get married. Sexual intimacy is sacred to me.”
- “I am trying to resist temptation, because I want my spouse to be faithful.”
- “Self-discipline and self-control are important parts of my spiritual beliefs.” To improve my relationship with my higher power, I need to get rid of lustful thoughts.
- “I don’t want my unwelcome sexual urges or behaviors to harm my relationships or cause problems within my professional life.”
3. Identify your triggers.
It is easier to understand your desires and control them.Think about why you feel lustful next time you feel it. Are you more likely to have unwanted sexual thoughts when you are stressed or bored? How about when you are around certain people, or at specific places (like at a beach or bar)? Make a list of triggers that you feel unwell and write down some suggestions about how to overcome them.
- If you find that lustful thoughts appear more when you are bored, then you should look for ways to keep your mind active. Listen to music while you do boring tasks like laundry.
- It’s possible that you have been using sexual thoughts and behaviors to deal with stress. You can set a goal to develop healthier habits and new coping strategies.
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4. Find healthy ways to keep yourself busy.
Get out of your head and have fun with hobbies and other activities. Talk to a friend or go for a run next time you feel like focusing on sexual thoughts. You can also be creative and play an instrument or cook a delicious meal. You can let go of all your unfulfilled desires by doing this.
5. Rekindle your romance with your significant other.
It may be possible to reduce temptation by strengthening your relationship.Remind yourself what you love about your spouse if you are married or in a committed relationship. Spend quality time with your partner. Do your best to foster love, affection, physical intimacy, and love in the relationship. This will allow you to refocus your thoughts on your SO and not other people.Here are some things you can do to help get that spark back.
- Even if it is only 10-15 minutes, schedule some time every day to talk about fun topics. It is a good idea to make it a rule that you don’t discuss school, work, children, or any other daily business during this time.
- You can make a list of 10 things that you love about your SO or your most memorable moments together.
- You can do something different together like a weekend trip, a dance class or a visit to a new neighborhood restaurant.
- Physical intimacy is important. You can show your affection by hugging, kissing or giving back rubs to each other even if you aren’t having sex.
6. Try relaxation techniques to help you unwind.
Relaxing activities are a good option if stress triggers sexual obsessions.Listen to calm music, do gentle stretches or practice yoga if you feel tense. You might also find it helpful to take a bath or go for a walk.
- You can unwind by signing up for an online class, such as Tai Chi or relaxing with a friend if you are easily distracted.
7. Join a self-help group.
It is possible to find great support from others who have gone through the same thing.Ask your doctor, therapist or online support group coordinator to recommend a group. A group can make you feel less lonely and less upset about your sexual desires. You can also get support from other members of the group by sharing strategies and getting advice.
- You can find a group online if you are still shy or socially disengaged.
- It is possible to have to try several groups before you find the one that you like.
- There are many types of self-help groups. Some groups are religiously based while others adopt a psychological approach. Consider which approach is most beneficial to you and then search for groups that match your needs.
8. Pray for guidance if you’re religious or spiritual.
Prayer can bring peace and clarity.When they are struggling with temptation and lust, many people of faith turn towards prayer. You can take a private moment every day to talk with a higher power if you believe in it.
- Research shows that praying brings more peace and well-being if you focus on the positive aspects of your prayer instead of dwelling on your shortcomings and blaming others. Instead of saying “God, my sins were repeated”, try “God! I am so grateful that I am on the path to becoming the person I desire to be.” I need your help to overcome these tempting thoughts.
9. Get advice from a spiritual or religious leader.
They can provide faith-based guidance.You might find it beneficial to seek the advice of someone who is religious or spiritual. Talk to a clergy member, or find a counselor that offers faith-based therapy. Tell them that you have lustful thoughts. They may be able to offer strategies.
- It can be embarrassing to share your story, but it is possible they have experienced similar problems. They are also expected to assist people with issues that may be related to their faith.
10. Practice mindful meditation.
You can find guided meditations online, or you can sign up for a class.Mindfulness can be helpful for all types of sexual problems, including shame and discomfort. You may find your sexual urges less overwhelming and stressful by practicing mindfulness. You can practice mindfulness meditation by simply sitting down.
- You can sit or lie down on a comfortable, quiet spot. If you wish, close your eyes.
- Slowly take deep, slow breaths. Pay attention to the sensation of your belly rising or falling as you breathe.
- You can also focus on other sensations such as tension or the environment around you (such as sounds and smells).
- Take a few moments to sit down and notice your thoughts. It is possible that you are experiencing sexual thoughts and sensations. You can simply observe them and not try to analyse or judge them.
- For a few moments, gently return your attention to your breath before you resume your normal activities.
Also read :- 15 Dangers of Premarital Sex
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